I put the swing away today

I put the swing away today.

My youngest, my last baby, hasn't used it in almost 2 weeks. It was taking up space.

This is hard - harder than I thought it would be.

When you prepare to have a baby, you collect all the things; crib, car seat, swing, jumper, play mats, clothes (so many clothes!). When you and your baby are done with them, you often put it away for future babies, still holding on to them and the memories that are attached to them. I have done this a few times with 5 babies.

After my older two were done with their things, off they went to friends and family that could use them for their own babies. I was in my 20s and it didn't seem like such a big deal. I kept a few items to hopefully pass down to my children for their children one day. I thought I had put the "baby days" behind me.

Fast forward 8 years and I was doing it again. After I went through a regret stage over not keeping any of the big stuff, it was time to collect it all again. The car seat, crib, playpen, jumper, play mats, toys, cute little snow suits, tiny shoes that they never wear, the swing...

Now that my little guy is a year old, exploring the world, it is time to start packing those things away. It's time to pass them on to friends, my sister who is having her first baby, or even sell some stuff on Facebook. This time is different though. It feels so final - which is good! - but, now I have to come to terms with the fact that my baby isn't a "baby" anymore.

At first, I was excited to pass on all the cute little clothes and tell stories about my journey to find the perfect stain remover 🤣
I don't know what it was about the swing that made me hold on for so long. I knew he didn't need it, I needed the room, and I wanted my 4 and 3 year olds to stop playing in it all the time, but feeling that the baby stage was over really hit me this time.


Now, I will be 34 next week. I am totally done with the baby stage - plus, everyone know that is the easy part anyway - but I will miss it. Soon, he will be too busy to sit on my lap. He will be too big to cuddle with mom. He is growing up so fast and I feel like it just went by too quickly.

BIG NEWS!!

Some big news to share...

I have decided to take a huge leap and jump into small business mode!

With recently finding out that we are expecting baby #5 in the fall, I turned my brain to business ideas.  I had been looking at starting a business for a while now, and this was a great push/motivation for me.

So... I will be launching ChunkyBabies in late June or early July.  It is a line of 100% non-toxic, BPA-free, lead-free, food-grade silicone teething accessories. These products have form and function. Not only will they help keep tiny gums busy and soothed, moms and dads can wear them in their every day lives. From necklaces, to bracelets, to pacifier clips, to completely customizable pieces, I've got you covered!

I am very excited about this new venture and I hope to expand on my existing idea and serve the population of people I studied to work with in college. My goal is to expand into production of sensory - based products (I already have designs in mind!) for children with Autism and other sensory or processing difficulties, as well as adults (because, let's face it - Autism doesn't stop at 18!).

I have been working like crazy this week to get most of the social media up and running. I just need to finish original concept designs and post photos. Then, next step is to launch and set up orders.

I will post links to all social media and website as soon as possible in a follow-up post!

I discovered something...

I am not a 4 am mom.

Even after 4 children, I am NOT a 4 am mom.

You know... those moms who are up every day at 4 in the morning, kids down for a nap by 9:30 am, in bed at night at 6 pm.

I am NOT that mom.

My fourth child has given me a run for my money.  Her sleep patterns are nothing like my first 3 children, and she goes through phases where she either doesn't sleep all night, or is up at obscene hours (like this morning... 3:45am). She has made me realize that I am not 20 anymore, I miss my late evenings and, after being a mom for 13 and a half years, I am tiiiireeeddd.

For the last couple years, I enjoyed my routine. Up with my older two for school, an hour for coffee and quiet before my younger two get up around 10-10:30 am. Now, I am either up all night with my busy busy 18 month old, or she wakes me after 2 hours sleep to be up for the day. I drag my tired behind around all morning until my older kids get up, she falls asleep shortly after they leave and then my 3 year old is up for the day...

I am NOT that mom.

I know a lot of moms that can run circles around that schedule, but I am not one of them. By 11 am I look like I have spent 2 months on the Survivor island. There are also moms that take their tots to 8:30 am swim classes... 9:30 am playgroups... afternoon mommy groups...  while I struggle to book time with a friend for coffee at my house because I don't want to nod off in my mug...

Sometimes I wish I were that mom, but I kind of enjoy the disorganized version. My kids are happy, they are comfortable and, despite my lack of sleep, still meet their recommended hours of zzzzzs. I wouldn't trade the sometimes dazed time I spend with them for anything in the world. Especially not the 4 am alone time I get with my 18 month old.  She never wakes in a bad mood so, even if I don't want to get up that early, her playful smile automatically gives me that little boost I need -- to stick a K-cup in the machine.

I will be the first to admit, I sometimes crawl back into bed after my older two leave for school now. That 45 minutes of sleep is very much needed sometimes, and the extra couple hours I sporadically  get are glorious!

I enjoy not being that mom. I am far from perfect, but my kids are happy - and that is worth every sleepless minute and 3 am espresso!