Thursday 13 April 2017

I discovered something...

I am not a 4 am mom.

Even after 4 children, I am NOT a 4 am mom.

You know... those moms who are up every day at 4 in the morning, kids down for a nap by 9:30 am, in bed at night at 6 pm.

I am NOT that mom.

My fourth child has given me a run for my money.  Her sleep patterns are nothing like my first 3 children, and she goes through phases where she either doesn't sleep all night, or is up at obscene hours (like this morning... 3:45am). She has made me realize that I am not 20 anymore, I miss my late evenings and, after being a mom for 13 and a half years, I am tiiiireeeddd.

For the last couple years, I enjoyed my routine. Up with my older two for school, an hour for coffee and quiet before my younger two get up around 10-10:30 am. Now, I am either up all night with my busy busy 18 month old, or she wakes me after 2 hours sleep to be up for the day. I drag my tired behind around all morning until my older kids get up, she falls asleep shortly after they leave and then my 3 year old is up for the day...

I am NOT that mom.

I know a lot of moms that can run circles around that schedule, but I am not one of them. By 11 am I look like I have spent 2 months on the Survivor island. There are also moms that take their tots to 8:30 am swim classes... 9:30 am playgroups... afternoon mommy groups...  while I struggle to book time with a friend for coffee at my house because I don't want to nod off in my mug...

Sometimes I wish I were that mom, but I kind of enjoy the disorganized version. My kids are happy, they are comfortable and, despite my lack of sleep, still meet their recommended hours of zzzzzs. I wouldn't trade the sometimes dazed time I spend with them for anything in the world. Especially not the 4 am alone time I get with my 18 month old.  She never wakes in a bad mood so, even if I don't want to get up that early, her playful smile automatically gives me that little boost I need -- to stick a K-cup in the machine.

I will be the first to admit, I sometimes crawl back into bed after my older two leave for school now. That 45 minutes of sleep is very much needed sometimes, and the extra couple hours I sporadically  get are glorious!

I enjoy not being that mom. I am far from perfect, but my kids are happy - and that is worth every sleepless minute and 3 am espresso!

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